Noah’s Nightly Newsletter – 4/1/24

Hey everyone,

Noah here with your Monday night “April Fools” Newsletter.

Speaking of April Fools, I promise you one thing right out of the gate….

Both this year and all future years I promise you to never give you any lame April Fools Day jokes.

Seriously, it was nearly torture being on Twitter today.

Everyone and their mom posting things that they think are absolutely hilarious and they’re all just God-awful.

No, Patrick Bet-David did not suddenly hire Don Lemon and agree to all his demands…

No, James O’Keefe is not suddenly retiring because he can’t handle the pressure anymore…

Just stop with all this nonsense, please!  Do people actually find this stuff funny?  Really?

If you’re over the age of 11 and still doing April Fools Jokes, just stop.

If you’re not funny the other 364 days of the year, just trust me that you did not suddenly become funny today.

Ugh!

Ok, rant over…but seriously just wake me up when it’s April 2!

Actually, speaking of April Fools Day, there is one thing about it I found very interesting:

Bo Polny Right Again? The Origins of “April Fools Day” Exposed!

How fascinating!

Makes so much more sense, doesn't it?

And then we have this out this morning:

Zelensky Is FRANTIC, Sudden Changes Indicate The End Is Near

Gee, funny how those three are all grouped together in one photo, isn't it?

Appropriate?

Then we have the "27 Club"....ever heard of it?

Something I certainly hope to never join:

Actor Who Was Edited Out Of Trailer Over Vaccine Views Joins “27 Club” After Dying In Tragic Motorcycle Accident

And in the great United States of America, with all our innovation and tech and money and everything else....somehow this is the best we can do?

UPDATE: NTSB Officials Reveal Stunning Delay In Rebuilding Baltimore Bridge

Really?

Ok, now I want to talk about Gold.

I've been sounding the alarm for a while now, and soon the door to this Ark is going to close.

(PST: Noah here, saying don't get left out when it starts raining!)

Check this out:

Lynette Zang: Fundamental Fair Value of Gold is $40,000 per ounce!

And that ties in perfectly to this:

New BRICS Currency — $55 Per One BRIC?

Ok, now we have something very graphic and gross.

So I give you a warning upfront.

But isn't that kind of the main point?

I have to warn adults but this is on display for all kids to read in the school library?

Does that make sense to anyone?

GRAPHIC: Woman Reads From The Worst School Porno Book I Have Seen Yet

Then we have an update on Barron (and Melania).

Wow:

WATCH: Video Shows Baron Trump TOWERING Over Melania at Easter Brunch

I really had to laugh at this next one....

Initially I thought it was the dumbest thing I've ever seen, but then midway through writing the article I totally shifted my opinion.

See what you think:

Liberals In Finland Make CRINGE Dance Video Asking Migrants To Please Not Rape Them

And we end with our top story, already going viral:

“A Coup Of Our Military ALREADY HAS Taken Place”

Is she right?

Your friend,

NOAH

p.s.

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