Noah’s Nightly Newsletter – 9/5/26

Hey everyone,

Noah here with your Saturday night Newsletter!

We start tonight with Iran suffering another massive strike:

U.S. Forces Take Out Three IRGC Oil Tankers After Iran Targets Two Navy Warships

And then this a few hours later:

WATCH: U.S. Forces Blow Up ANOTHER Refueling Vessel Used By Drug Traffickers

Love this:

Stay-at-Home Parents Could Get a Paycheck Under New Trump Plan — Here are the Details

Then we have something truly dark and evil….the first Lindsay Clancy copycats are emerging….ALLEGEDLY!

Mother Charged With Killing 2-Year-Old Son Had Been Texting About Lindsay Clancy Trial Hours Earlier, Prosecutors Say

This is also pretty sick:

Wheel Of Fortune Announcer Jim Thornton FIRED After Being Caught Visiting Predator Chatroom On Plane

Bro, on an airplane?

Really?

And speaking of the Lindsay Clancy case, the husband has now spoken out:

Patrick Clancy Responds After Hung Jury in Lindsay Clancy Case

And what do we have here?

DOJ Charges Five in Election Cases Across Three States as Arrest Footage Emerges

I thought there was no cheating?

Hmmm….

And this is wild:

REPORT: Dozens of Suspected ‘Directed Energy Attacks’ Reported on U.S. Soil

Maui anyone?

Next up, a personal special request from me:

SPECIAL REQUEST: Could You Please Help Me With This? Thank you! [From Noah]

And we end with our top story:

HORRIBLE: Penis Accident Kills Famous Influencer

How horrible is that?

Bro wanted a bigger penis and ended up dead!

And we end with our top two that you might have missed:

Fox News’ Emily Compagno Delivers Emotional Final Signoff On “Outnumbered”

And:

SUPREME COURT HANDS GOP MIDTERM WIN: Cheaper TV Ads Back in Play

Your friend,

NOAH

p.s.

I had lunch with a really good friend today (shoutout Mark!) and he told me how much he loves it when I do these “Noah’s Nuggets” at the end of every email telling you about my newest favorite things.

Like when I first told you all about my favorite toothpaste that is NOT gross mint flavor:  SEE THAT HERE

Or when I told you about the absolute best toothbrush you can buy — and it’s only $14:  SEE THAT HERE

Well, today I’ve got a new one for you and it’s not about brushing your teeth!

It’s actually about cheese.

Shredded cheese, to be exactly.

Stick with me, I will explain….

We began to notice at home that when we could cook with shredded cheese we bought from the store and put, say, cheddar cheese on the top of a casserole in the oven, it wasn’t really melting anymore.

Nothing wrong with our oven, and it didn’t matter how long we left it in there, the cheese would just never melt and never brown.

So we started looking into it and we found out that a lot of CRAP goes into bagged shredded cheese.

Take this bag of Sargento, for example:

Pay particular attention to the “powdered cellulose” which says it is to “prevent caking”.

Some people call powdered cellulose essentially “wood pulp” and here’s what Grok says about that:

The “wood pulp” story refers to powdered cellulose, which some shredded cheeses use as an anti-caking agent. Cellulose can be purified from wood or other plant material, but calling the finished food-grade ingredient “wood pulp” is somewhat sensationalized.

It also said the added starches will make the cheese melt poorly.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want all of this extra added crap in my shredded cheese — especially if one of them is derived from wood pulp! — so we are now buying block cheese and shredding it at home ourselves.

It’s super easy and check out the label on the block cheese:

Five ingredients, and I know what each of them is, and no cellulose or starch!  

Perfect!

Ok, so why did I tell you all of this?

One, because I really think you might want to consider it, it’s a game-changer.

Two, if you do, here’s the one trick you need to know to make it super easy.

You need one of these rotary hand crank cheese graters!

We have the one below and absolutely love it.

The thing is a beast, I can shred through a huge block of cheese in about 10 seconds.

Those old cheese graters where you have to scrape the cheese against the metal box were a huge pain and also dangerous.

But the rotary hand crank is a total game-changer.

You can grab one on Amazon right here, they’re currently on sale too:

So there ya go!

If you do get one and like it, please shoot me an email and let me know, ok?

Thanks!

As always, who loves ya baby?

NOAH!